Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences, but for children, learning how to express and manage it in healthy ways can be challenging. As a parent, guiding your child through their emotions and teaching them effective anger management skills is crucial for their emotional development and overall well-being. Yet, a new poll suggests that 63% of parents don’t know how to help their kids with anger management.
New research from the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health demonstrates that parents not only have a hard time modeling healthy anger management themselves, but they also have an equally hard time helping their children as well.
“Kids learn how to handle anger by watching you,” Caitlin Slavens, a perinatal mental health and child psychologist, and co-founder of MamaPsychologists, commented in an interview with Parents.com. “If parents can model calm, constructive ways of expressing frustration, kids are more likely to model those behaviors.”
Per Parents.com, researchers looked at a national sample of parents and kids between the ages of 6 and 12 years old. Here are some insights from their findings:
- 28% of parents strongly agree and 63% somewhat agree that they know how to help their kiddo manage anger
- 16% of parents strongly agree and 54% somewhat agree that at times, they set a bad example of how to effectively manage anger
- 12% of parents worry their child’s anger may cause problems in their life
- 43% of parents of boys report that in the past year, their child experienced negative consequences while being angry, such as hurting themselves or others, or having an issue at school or with friends (33% of parents of girls report the same thing)
- 14% of parents think their child gets angry more often than peers, and it’s worth noting that these parents are more likely to feel they sometimes set a bad example of dealing with their own anger
So how can parents help both themselves and their children?
Well, first, parents must realize that children are not angrier today than they were in previous years. Dr. Tamar Z. Kahane, founder and clinical director of The Kahane Center, LLC, suggests that, “They may have lower distress tolerance and less well-developed skills in adaptively expressing their frustration and anger… In part, this is due to having less practice delaying gratification and learning how to wait as there is so much immediate gratification.”
With that in mind, here are a few tips according to the experts and Parents.com that will help parents navigate anger management.
- Talk about anger
- Identify triggers
- Teach kids to name emotions
- Find an outlet
- Set clear boundaries and expectations
Helping children navigate and manage their anger is an essential part of their emotional development. By offering consistent guidance, teaching coping techniques, and modeling healthy emotional responses, parents can empower their children to understand and control their feelings in constructive ways. With time and practice, children can develop the tools they need to manage their anger, leading to healthier relationships, improved self-regulation, and greater emotional well-being.