Tika Sumpter is opening up about her journey through motherhood in a candid interview with PARENTS.
Speaking as part of the publication’s Take Five with Grace column, where editor-in-chief Grace Bastidas chats with notable parents about their unique experiences, Tika touched on everything from IVF to raising her daughter and the lessons passed down from her own mother.
Here are the highlights from the interview:
On Her IVF Journey:
Tika revealed that while she hoped to expand her family, her experience with IVF was a one-time attempt
“I did want a second child and tried IVF once. I know they say you should do it multiple times, but I didn’t have the energy for it. While having another baby didn’t work out for me, I pray that it works out for other people. The threads of motherhood are so interconnected that we sometimes forget that everybody is just trying to figure it out and live their best lives. I am you and you are me.”
Raising a Biracial Daughter:
Tika’s daughter is curious, history-loving, and, most importantly, confident in her identity.
“She knows we have different skin tones and that she’s mixed race. I don’t think it’s fair to put any of my stuff on her since our experiences will vary. Right now, we’re homeschooling her. We’ll talk about Martin Luther King, the Civil Rights era, and the March on Washington. She loves history and has so many questions. She was in a private school before, but the bullying pushed me over the edge. I also felt like she was getting lost. She didn’t understand certain concepts. My husband and I follow a whole curriculum, and she also goes to a co-op. She’s already light years ahead. For me, it’s about giving her more catered time and flexibility.”
Lessons from her mom:
Tika’s resilience and work ethic are deeply rooted in the example set by her mother, who worked tirelessly to provide for her family.
“My mom went from being a stay-at-home mom to having to get a job as a corrections officer at Rikers Island. It was sink or swim, but she swam.”
“She tried her best to keep us kids in line. I thought I would be a tough parent because of my mom but I’m not. I’m down for the fun. If she wants to get on a roller coaster, I’ll go with her! We have this playfulness that allows her to be herself. My ability to [instill] that in her is my superpower.”
What she’s learned from her daughter:
Tika’s daughter brings out her best qualities—and reminds her to pause and breathe.
“When I get a little hyper, she’ll put her hand on my heart and say, “Mom, breathe.” She’ll do it in such a soulful way. She’s the only woman who can tell me to relax in a way that is not condescending. I tell her all the time that she’s so much better than me.
The other day, she said, “You’re a really good mom.” Sometimes I feel like I’m such a failure because I’m always working. But she just started rattling off all the things that I am to her, and my eyes started watering. I thought, I’m doing a good job. It validated all the things that I poured into her.”