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Ethan Slater‘s ex-wife Lilly Jay has opened up about the public breakdown of their marriage amid his relationship with Ariana Grande. 

Jay was married to Slater, with whom she shares a two-year-old son, for five years. They tied the knot in 2018 before finalising their divorce in September 2023.

Their split made headlines around the world as Slater was rumoured to be in a new relationship with his Wicked co-star Grande. 

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Lilly Jay and Ethan Slater

Now, a year on from their controversial divorce, clinical psychologist Jay has detailed how the very public split affected her in an essay published by The Cut.

Jay admitted she “really never thought” she would be divorced. 

“Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity,” she wrote.

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Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater on the set of Wicked

She continued that as a perinatal psychologist she knew “how vulnerable a marriage is in the postpartum period, how vital community connection is in preventing depression and anxiety, how new parenthood impacts a whole family”.

Jay said she still “confidently moved to another country with my two-month-old baby and my husband to support his career”.

The psychologist wrote: ”Motherhood, I have learned, fills your time but not your mind.”

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Jay told herself the public fallout was “nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide”. 

“Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child,” she wrote.

Jay said her and ex-husband Slater’s approach to parenthood had not changed.

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Ariana Grande and Ethan Slayer

She added they both “fiercely love our son 100 per cent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided”. 

Jay concluded by reflecting on what she had taken away from the public fallout.

“Some of what you loved most about your partner was actually your own goodness reflected back to you; it’s yours to keep and carry forward,” she wrote.

Slater first met Grande on the set of Wicked in 2022.

Rumours the co-stars were dating first began around late July in 2023.

Shortly after, it was reported Grande had split from her husband Dalton Gomez.

US Weekly reported Slater filed for divorce from Jay on July 26.

Grande reportedly filed for divorce from Gomez on September 18.

In September 2024, the pop star addressed the backlash her rumoured relationship with Slater had received while speaking with Vanity Fair.

“The most disappointing part was to see so many people believe the worst version of it… That was definitely a tough ride,” she said.

“There couldn’t be a less accurate depiction of a human being than the one that the tabloids spread about him,” she said of Slater.

Grande said there was “no one on this earth with a better heart”.

The couple have shared some public moments on the global Wicked press tour, including both coming to Australia in November for the Sydney premiere. 

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